I’ve had a lot on my mind and a lot on my plate lately. So much in fact, that things have been really upsetting for me. Specifically, I’m learning more and more each day that some people are just not worth my time. I don’t say that to be mean or condescending, but life is too short to spend around people that hurt you, abuse you, and otherwise torment you emotionally.
I spend a great deal many of my days crying over how people treat me. I am sensitive, emotionally unstable, and sometimes hard to deal with. The problem however, is that people constantly judge me for my really bad days. People sit there, point a finger at me, and basically belittle me because I am mentally ill and a sensitive individual. They also like to mock me, and that is fine.
What I don’t understand, is why people remember all of the bad things about you instead of remembering the good that you do? Why is everyone so quick to judge and quick to be mean? Why do people do the things that they do?
My mother used to tell me that people were jealous, and I’m apt to think that is true. Someone who is quick to jump on you for past mistakes probably just wants to feel better about being the sour and condescending individual that he/she is. I have something they don’t. I have real friends that I can trust.
I am also apt to believe that most people only want to talk to you when they want something or need something from you. I have spent two days talking to a friend about her troubles, when instead of commenting on how nice I can be, she chose to attack me and basically sided with the ‘enemy’ (for lack of a better term).
Why should I bother? Because I am a better person than that. I care about people too much, and I genuinely want to help people even when they are treating me horribly or refuse to defend me – letting everyone else believe bad things about me in the process.
I know a lot of people out there are like me in that aspect. They give and give and give while others take and take and take, and instead of seeing all the good you do, they choose to resent you for the times youhave messed up. The times where you were weak, vulnerable, upset, and genuinely distressed have suddenly marked you as a horrible human being just because you weren’t perfect at all times.
Nevermind that you talk to these people, are nice to these people, let them abuse you and hurt you. They want to take it a step farther and abuse you and get away with it. They want you to sit there and take their abuse and make you believe you are a horrible person.
I am not a horrible person. You are not a horrible person. Everyone has some inherent good in them, but some people just throw that away because they would rather be sour, cruel, hateful, spiteful, and abusive to anyone who isn’t just like them.
No one reading this should ever have to feel like they are alone. I may or may not know you, but I still care because I know that everyone is suffering in some way, shape, or form.
It is people like I have described that will steal your happiness at every corner. They will lie, cheat, and lie some more to get people to hate you. They will recruit your friends one by one and pollute them to the point that friendships must end. These are the worst kind of people, but they are also the best kind. You live and you learn.
There comes a point in time where you can no longer stomach the abuse, and when that light bulb clicks on, I hope whoever you are can move forward and just walk away from dramatic people trying to control me and turn me into a monster that I am truly not. If anyone thinks of you as a monster and tries to treat you like one, remind yourself who the real monster is.
As a closing note, I am going to post a song that I used to listen to. It is cheesy in ways, but I think it fits. I was a Spice Girls fan, and this was on Geri Halliwell’s solo album. It is fitting, I think.